24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
