Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
