My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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