So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
