this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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