Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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