i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My dick has a subreddit
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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