Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
