does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
