OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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