i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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