I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
