At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
