We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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