bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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