Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
