I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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