'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
