I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
