I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
