I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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