i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
