friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
