going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
