I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
