we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
