Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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