2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
