Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
