Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
