so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
