And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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