Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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