Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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