Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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