I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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