I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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