Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
