Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
