im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
