i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
