shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
