Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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