We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
