Me. At least after what I've been through.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
