I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize