Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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