I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
