So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
