She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
