Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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