you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.