apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot