well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?