She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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