Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think i have two assholes
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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