we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
