dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
