YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
