By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
