Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
