were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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