i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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