Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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